This is a repost. I was updating software and totally messed up the formatting…

It was better to delete the original and repost it.

The difference between a fairy tale and sea story is that
fairy tales begin with, “Once upon a time…” and ends with “…and they
lived happily ever after.” A sea story begins with, “So, there I was…”
and ends with, “…and I’ve been messed up ever since!”

The Oldest Ship Pilot in Alaska

Each year, many thousands of people make the trip to Alaska on the large
cruise ships that parade up and down the waterways of the Inside
Passage from Seattle through British Columbia and into the 49th state.
Aside from stopping in each little town along the way to be herded
ashore like sheep to the mercantile slaughter, the food, entertainment,
drinking and gambling draw many thousands of visitors each summer
season. However, the real attraction is just the beautiful scenery and
the wildlife of Alaska itself. The highlight of any cruise is the scheduled
stopping of the ship in front of one of the many tidewater glaciers that
are found calving icebergs into the water.

“So, there I was…”

The Holland America Cruise Line operates ships that are run by Dutch
officers. Holland America ships have a “tradition” for their weekly
stops in front of the glaciers. They pick 20 or so “VIP’s of the day” at
random from the 2500+ passengers, and invite them into the pilothouse
to speak with the Captain and look out the bridge windows at the ice as
the ship slowly maneuvers near the face of the glacier.

During this time, the “VIP’s” are fed split pea soup, thick crisp bacon and crusty
bread. Because it is illegal in US waters, to have anyone in the
pilothouse who is not directly involved with the running of the ship,
the Dutch get around this by having all guests to the pilothouse
stand in the back in a roped off area.

At the time, the oldest ship pilot in Alaska was a man named Captain Bob
Johannson. He was 76 years old. Bob is gone now but he was one of the
saltiest men I have ever met. During the visit to the glaciers, the pilot on a
cruise ship stands at the front of the pilothouse, watching out the windows
and directing the navigation through the icy strewn waterways. He brings
the ship to a stop off the face of the glacier then slowly spins the ship around
a couple of times so that the passengers who were too lazy to get out of bed
in the morning can look out the window of their staterooms and see the ice
without having to get dressed.

It was nine in the morning and Bob had been up for hours guiding the ship
to the head of College Fiord in Prince William Sound. As he brought
the ship to a stop in from of the glaciers, the door to the pilothouse
opened and the stewards brought in the rolling carts with the soup,
bacon and bread. Once the food was set up, the stewards departed and
the daily VIP’s are led in by the cruise director.

The last person into the pilothouse was a little old man in a wheelchair. He was
wrapped in a blanket, had an oxygen mask over his face with a tube
leading to the tank attached to the back of the chair, and on his lap,
his bony liver-marked hand clutched one of those electronic wand
devices that you use to talk when your voice box has been removed. As
this gentleman would not be able to eat the soup, bacon or crusty bread
and because he was sitting so low in his chair that he could not see
anything from the back of the pilothouse, the captain of the ship
lifted the rope and told the nurse accompanying him to wheel him up to
the front windows next to the pilot. The man sat in his chair watching
Bob and looking out the window as the mask over his face wheezed and
hissed with his every breath.

After a while Bob broke the silence by asking him a polite question.

“So, how are you enjoying your trip?”

The man sat a moment, then raised his shaky hand with the electronic voice
wand to his throat as he pulled the oxygen mask away from his face with
the other hand. He swallowed loudly and then said in an electronic
automaton like voice,

“I JUST WANTED TO SEE ALASKA BEFORE I DIED.”

His wand dropped to his lap and he successfully got the mask back over his
mouth and nose before a fit of coughing shook him. A minute
passed as he recovered his breath and was again able to sit looking out
the window. Another minute passed before Captain Bob Johannson, the
oldest ship pilot in Alaska, looked down at him and said, “You’re
cutting it kind of close aren’t you?”

“… and I’ve been messed up ever since!”

Dan

Technorati Tags: cruise ship, Alaska, Alaska cruise, ship pilot, marine pilot, HAL, Glacier Bay, Glacier, College Fiord, Seward, Icebergs, iceberg

This entry was posted on Friday, March 16th, 2007 at 3:06 pm and is filed under ...Messed Up Ever Since!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.